Invalidating Concern Troll Ann Buscho Trolls Alice Evans
Updated: Mar 27, 2021
Invalidation is a highly damaging and subtle form of abuse and this breathtaking display of this offensive behavior deserves a thorough examination. As most people are aware, Alice Evans is going through a difficult divorce and as a high profile individual Alice is targeted by all sorts of people who feel they can jump into her life for their own purposes.
Here we have one Dr. Ann Buscho practicing a particularly vile form of trolling that nearly every survivor will be familiar with. Concern trolling. The situation we are dealing with here follows the normal and predictable pattern of unwanted and highly offensive behavior.
The first highly pertinent questions are: who does Ann Buscho think she is? What gives Ann Buscho the right to target a high profile woman going through such a difficult time with this patronizing and invalidating display of vileness we see here?
What we see in this article is a crafted effort to invalidate the suffering and circumstances being experienced by Alice Evans. Obviously as Ann Buscho is a psychologist then we are expected to treat her as the "expert" in the matter.
This is also known as the trusty logical fallacy we know as the "appeal to authority". Ann Buscho is a psychologist so she would know and we all have to listen to her. Unfortunately there are many people out there who will do just that.
The article leads with the equally trusty statement of concern and empathy. We are expected to believe Ann Buscho is coming from a position of sympathy but of course what we are actually seeing is the tired old troll tactic of presenting from a position of caring and concern while putting in the knife.
"There is no question that a divorce is a life crisis, and even worse when you are blindsided with the announcement. I empathize with your pain."
This patronizing display we see here is the leading comment in the article. This is to show us all that Ann Buscho is a caring person who really gets where Alice is coming from. Putting to one side the fact that Ann Buscho knows next to nothing about what is going on, this drivel is simply a tactic to allow Buscho to invalidate Alice Evans under the guise of caring and concern.
"Dear Alice, Your divorce is all over the news and social media this week. Your suffering, shock, and outrage are all over the news too.
I wonder how your daughters feel about this publicity as they attempt to deal with the forthcoming changes in your family. If you are sharing a betrayal by their father, I wonder how the “truth” will affect them."
What we see here is Ann Buscho making Alice Evans the responsible party for the actions of her soon to be ex-husband Ioan Gruffudd and the outcomes that are resulting from his choices. Buscho also places the responsibility for the fact that this matter is in the media upon Alice as well.
It is evident that Ann Buscho holds the view that the children in question should be denied the truth and that Alice Evans should enable Ioan Gruffudd's unacceptable behavior towards her. Evidently Alice is required to come up with a palatable lie to tell her children which in effect is tantamount to silencing Alice Evans voice.
This attack on Alice Evans' truth and autonomy is coached in the patented "think about the children" line of reasoning that most survivors will know all to well. What we see here is a vile and wholly unwarranted attack on Alice Evans as a mother and a survivor.
The message is that Alice is acting inappropriately by daring to defend herself or speak in her own voice. Sound familiar? How many abusers have we seen wailing on about how attempts to hold them accountable are impacting on their families and how many of their enablers have we seen doing this on the abusers behalf?
Do we not the know the score? The abuser has finally gone too far, even for their enablers to cover up and justify. The victim is then bombarded with concern trolling telling us that we have to be nice and its all about moving on and that we have to put the feels of the offender at the front of the consideration.
The abuser is just misunderstood. It is our objections to their behavior that is the real issue. "Why do you make me beat you to a pulp, honey? Don't you know how mad I can get?"
Apparently the onus is on us to be the "big people," and our objections and reasonable demands are an obstacle to our own peace and happiness.
What we see here is slight variant on a well experienced norm. Alice is being told that her actions are detrimental to her own children. Is that so?
I say, that teaching girls that it is better to embrace a lie and invalidate themselves to appease others is not the acceptable path to take. Of course that happens to be the exact message beaten and raped into women globally.
"What happens to you does not matter. it never happened and if you ever raise your voice in your own defense then you are the one who has the issue. What is most important is how everyone else feels about it."
There we have it straight from the Abuser Manual 101 and in this instance this nasty and corrosive dynamic is being inflicted on Alice Evans by a woman who is speaking from a position of authority, in public and it is cold hard fact that Ann Buscho has no idea on what is happening in Alice Evans' life.
Ann Buscho has marched into a situation that she knows nothing about and essentially tried to publicly shame Alice Evans into complying with a person who is acting in a most unacceptable fashion.
Ann Buscho is trying to shame Alice Evans into lying to her own children and teaching them to accept abuse and unwanted behavior as their due in the name of wider unity. Little wonder then that abusers feel so empowered and entitled to inflict abuse upon others.
Ann Buscho is telling Alice Evans that she can shape her own narrative. Here is the thing. The ONLY narrative that matters is the truth. End of story. I know for a fact that having regard for the circumstances that have been forced on Alice Evans by Ioan Gruffudd, Alice is responding exceptionally well.
Unlike Ann Buscho, I am personally aware of the details of Alice's situation (which I will not be sharing here) and I am one hundred percent confident that Alice is dealing with this matter with thought and dignity and that her devotion to the wellbeing of her children is first and foremost in her mind.
Ann Buscho needs to take a seat and butt out. If it was up to me I would make a complaint about her ethics and it would be a cold day in hell before I would ever let this person provide advice to any survivor and or their children.
Ann Buscho is grandstanding on Alice Evans' suffering and singing the song preferred by abusers of every walk of life and background. Ann Buscho's actions are a disgrace. I am offended as Alice's friend and I am offended as a survivor.
Note: Alice Evans has had no input into this article.