The primary goal of a narc attack is to deprive the victim of the context and therefore the truth of their narrative. The narcissist always see themselves as the victim in any exchange which does not serve their purpose and the absence of shame and or guilt in their nature makes it almost inevitable that the narc will misuse legal process against the victim.
Alice Evans has the right to have her actions judged through the lens of the correct context of her narrative and not the textbook litany of defilement provided by Ioan Gruffudd. Gruffudd's accusations have to be reconciled to the facts that apply to the matter and in this case the gaping chasm between Gruffudd's defamatory hatchet job and those facts is wholly irreconcilable.
The correct context that applies to Alice Evans
As described in my article Alice Evans has every right to be angry, I demonstrate that Alice was betrayed, defiled, viciously gas lit and bullied. I demonstrated that Alice has been deprived of her security, her health and the financial means to maintain her home and meet the general needs of her family.
To judge Alice's actions we must put ourselves in her shoes and honestly ask ourselves how we would feel and respond in her situation. Every word that Alice has written was from the perspective of a highly abused woman who is going through the process of reconciling the reality that she gave twenty years of her life to a man who is treating her like she is dog shit.
Alice is processing the fact that twenty years of her life and all the love and energy she put into her marriage was nothing more than the fueling of the narcissistic whim of a man who is behaving like a full blown sociopath towards her. That is the context of Alice's situation.
The false narrative presented by Ioan Gruffudd
Ioan Gruffudd has made some truly astounding accusations in his statement to the court as we will see. Now, the bona fide response to the process in question is to make a truthful statement relating to factual events that will convince the court that party A is a threat to party B.
In this case Gruffudd has several purposes for his accusation and in the serving of this range of erroneous purposes the result is a narrative so utterly preposterous and offensive that it can only be the product of a garden variety dark triad narcissist.
Well, goodness gracious me. Evidently we are expected to believe that Alice is in fact an unhinged sociopath who is so besotted with the wonder that is Ioan Gruffudd, she is prepared to commit the most vile acts against him, the desire to destroy him her one and only consideration. Chilling stuff.
I note the repeated references to the claimed threats of false allegations. Ioan leans on this whistle extensively. This allows Ioan to try and deflect the allegations against him already on record and it is an appeal to the ever present Stans who like to campaign against women raising allegations of abuse. To drive the message home we see the reference to Amber Heard and Johnny Depp.
Ioan states that Alice has carried out many of her threats since he moved out of the family residence. If that is that case where are there any examples of these so called threats being carried out? Has Alice made any false allegations in the media? No. Has she written a diary detailing false abuse? No. Has she destroyed his mother? No. Has she accused him of abuse of either her or the children? No. Has she claimed Ioan is a drug addict and tried to have him jailed? No.
So this begs the obvious question. Where is there any evidence that Alice has carried out even one let alone many of the above mentioned claimed threats? The answer is that there is no evidence on the simple basis those events did not occur and nor were they ever threatened.
It is also relevant that Alice did not come out publicly until after I went to her and encouraged her to do so. Alice remained silent in public for several weeks which demonstrates a level of control well beyond the class of psycho Ioan tries to paint her as in his opening blurb.
So, essentially the allegations Ioan is raising there are wholly unsupported, there is no independent evidence or witness to confirm the claims and there is no evidence Alice has carried out of any of the threats specified.
Having established that the next step in the consideration is what Alice has demonstrably done according to the evidence and it is fair to say there are some issues that need to be raised. However, in doing so those issues will be processed through the true narrative as opposed to Ioan's stich up.
The texts and emails that sit in evidence are ugly and aggressive. That is accepted. It is clear that Alice holds animosity towards Bianca Wallace and it is clear that her messages are fueled by intense anger. That is also accepted. In the minds of Ioan and his Stans the matter rests there. That is far from the case.
This is where Alice's rights as a victim come into play. Alice is the victim of abuse that is ongoing. Alice has been betrayed and defiled and her entire world has been ripped out from under her at the macro level.
At the more specific level we must consider the fact that Alice has been stuck at home for years now due to the pandemic, threatened in her own wellbeing, terrified for her children, bullied extensively online as a mother, wife and woman and that is all she has been able to think about as the proverbial clock ticks away another day of a suspended and violated life.
The person who has held the power to alleviate a great deal of that chronic suffering is Ioan Gruffudd and instead of meeting the obligations he has been avoiding to date, Ioan elected to essentially ghost Alice and leave her in a perpetual state of anxiety and insecurity.
Essentially Alice has been deprived of the right to have certainty regarding her future and the futures of her children, she has been deprived financially and living with the constant knowledge she may well lose her home.
Ella has been deprived of her private school education at a very vulnerable age and Alice has had the full weight of guilt and helplessness to deal with alone while Ioan prances about gushing about a film that celebrates the ray of sunshine that is the woman who made the willful and informed decision to participate in fucking over Alice's life.
It is not unreasonable for Alice to take the cynical approach and conclude that Ioan is likely spending the money that should be going on Ella's education on his "new" girlfriend and all of this has been eating at Alice like acid every day since she found out she got usurped by a woman who she now has to watch cavorting in a bikini to a cooing ex husband.
All of this has been happening in front of a taunting mob and tabloids making a dollar out of her profound misery. So we must ask ourselves, even though we would have preferred a more palatable rendition of Alice's thoughts and feelings, who among us would be a cool calm breeze facing the shit that Alice Evans has been having to put up with?
Once the rage element of the messages is put to one side it is very evident that there is a strong focus on matters such as what is happening with Ella and demands for adequate financial support. There are no threats of the kind Ioan is trying to claim and the fact is Ioan has a complete obligation to deal with the very real issues relating to his children.
Instead Ioan has elected to essentially ghost Alice and chew up the money he claims he does not have by sitting behind a lawyer while trying to bully Alice into accepting she was a terrible wife who deserves to be treated like she has been. Ioan has been doing all this to support his poor Ioan victim narrative.
So, yes the messages are ugly and aggressive but I take the view the provocation has been as deliberate as it has been profound. Alice is a human being and she is a victim and to force a requirement on her that she presents as a wounded saint without buckling under the weight of her torment is not supportive of survivors and is wholly unfair.
I hold the view that to turn our backs on Alice now would amount to adding another level of cruelty that is not justified. Alice needs us, especially when she has been weak in her pain and on that basis I still remain firmly committed to the support of a sister survivor who needs me.
People need to accept the fact that the fairy tale version of the victim doing the dying swan routine while remaining poised and tragic is a dangerous myth. Victims react with rage and desperation and rage and desperation are not attractive expressions of the human condition.
The whole idea that a victim loses their status as a victim in the event they do not present in a stage managed manner that does not threaten the feelings of those who support them is in itself a form of victim invalidation.
Alice is being subjected to severe and chronic stresses simultaneously. The messages that Ioan is claiming is an abuse of his person are the reactions of a person who is suffering and in fear and the expression of the fury that results from that in no way diminishes the reality that the real issue in this is why Alice has been driven to this in the first place.
Ioan is claiming he has not communicated with Alice as some kind of attempt to dampen down her "attacks" on him but that is complete and utter bullshit. Ioan knows Alice very well, and he knows exactly how to push her buttons. Ghosting Alice suits his purpose in that it is putting strain on Alice and allows him to claim he is being dignified when in fact he is being evasive for his own purposes.
Ioan can claim harassment and intimidation as much as he likes but the fact of Alice's behavior is the direct result of matters that are wholly objective, well documented and well witnessed. Even if Ioan's claims were bona fide, it is undeniable that Ella is being deprived of one of the most important elements of a young American's life, that being her education.
We have all witnessed Ioan subjecting Alice to coercion regarding her social media use and it is well time for the basis of that coercion to be made public. When Alice came out alongside the raped and abused of Hollywood as a Silence Breaker, Ioan spouted in the media all the right words of support and concern.
The actual truth of the matter is that Ioan despised the fact that Alice came out as a Breaker because he was worried that Weinstein would come out on top and deprive him of employment. Ioan also took great offense at the fact that people wanted to talk about his wife instead of the marvel that is Ioan Gruffudd.
Ioan responded by trying to suppress Alice's use of social media as much as possible. Alice was expected to do then what she is expected to do now which is be compliant and quiet like a good little bitch.
It is my view that Ioan would have sat unmoved while listening to the screams of one of Weinstein's victims being raped in the next room and he would have done and said nothing about it. That is the type of person we are looking at here. A person who would rather see to the preservation of his own skin over acting against the rape and misery inflicted on the women of Hollywood.
Combine that with what we know about the ruthless and callous treatment of his wife and daughters and we see a man who may know how to avoid a restraining order of his own but is still in fact a complete narcissist and a bully.
It is obvious that Alice will be completely humiliated at having her rawest self exposed in public by the man who is abusing her and we are now expected to judge Alice outside of the consideration of the truth on the basis of the dark triad fueled agenda of Ioan Gruffudd.
I reject that predictable agenda and I stand with my survivor sister. Alice Evans will have her day and until that day comes not one step back will we take.
Note: Alice Evans has had no input into this article and was not consulted at any level.